You are not punished for your anger.
You are punished by your anger.
Gautam Buddha
Everytime you resist acting on your anger, you actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving.
Anger is nothing but a state of mind when we are not at ease, showing unpleasantness in any situation. Situations and people are not always according to our expectations. We show our disapproval by getting angry. Infact, it has now shifted to automated mode. We don't choose to be angry, but it just happens. Someone just triggers and we become irritated. In course of time we have developed a belief system that when something doesn't match with our definition of right, we are justified to get angry. Gradually this developes into our habit pattern and becomes our sanskars. Everytime we get angry, we reenforce that Sanskar.
This does not mean that you can allow people exploit or emotionally control you. They should not know your trigger points which they can press according to their will. The remote control of your emotions should be with you. Otherwise you are bound to pass through upheavals and outbursts of emotional responses. You can take a tough stand and speak your words firmly with conviction without losing your temper. How can your words have impact on others when you do not have control over your own self?.
We can achieve impossible through silence. A silent mind has immense powers. It can get things done faster than words spoken with a chaotic mind. Moderate rain is good for crops, whereas floods destroy crops. The same principle applies to anger as well. We can learn about this from the great scientist, Thomas Alva Edison. He did not get angry with his assistant when he broke the bulb , which he invented after years of hard work. He remained stable.
One of the main reasons of getting angry is we depend on external factors for happiness, which keep changing. Happiness is our choice and does not happen by chance. We need to stop reacting and start responding. Reaction happens automatically, whereas response is always mindful.
The source of anger is not outside. If there is no anger within you, it cannot come out. If you hit a Buddha, only compassion will come out, because only compassion is there. Anger will not come out because anger is not there. If you throw a bucket in a dry well, only bucket will come out. But in a water filled well, you will get water in the bucket. So, one who is insulting you is just throwing bucket in you, and then the bucket will fill out with the anger, hate or fire that was within you. You are the source.
It is scientifically proven that when we are angry, additional neuro transmitters and hormones _adrenaline and non adrenaline are released causing various diseases. Our relationships are also affected by anger.
You can channelise your anger in constructive way. Do find healthy outlets like vigorous exercise or writing to express it safely. You can practice this breathing technique to work on your emotions. Sit straight with your spine, neck and head in a straight line. Place your palms up on your thighs. Inhale to the count of three and exhale to the count of six. Exhalation should be double of inhalation. You can do this for 10-12 minutes daily.
Even if you forget everything, please remember to keep your remote control with you. Do not dragged down by your emotions. If something happens, don't react immediately. Take a moment, look into your mind, breathe deep, exhale double. Live like a master, not like a slave. Be a master of your mind and you can do that by becoming master of your breath. Listen to inner peace, it will feed you. Listen to inner love, it will transform you. When you are peaceful, you add peace to the world.
